I hate fat people. I think they are the scourge of the health system. They clog our health clinics, insurance rolls and the aisles in commercial aircraft. I despise them, even though I am conscious that some percentage of them are grotesquely corpulent only because of some physical disease. But the vast majority of them, I am convinced, are obese only out of personal, willful, irresponsible negligence. Like smokers.
So what does that say about my self image?
Judge, I decline to answer that question on the grounds that any answer on my part would be self-incriminating.Before I call on Weight-Watchers, I'll offer yet two more graphs to demonstrate I am devoting some attention to my problem. These require some explanation should some misdirected reader fall into this post inadvertently.
The green graph depicts how I am doing in the current (2011) year as against the average of the last three years (2008-10). That I have kept these statistics, in itself, unwittingly proves I have been 'watching' my weight to no avail for quite some time. [Click to enlarge]
The other blue graph is simpler: It is a won-lost progress chart. Each day I lose a measurable amount, I get a win; each day I gain something digitally significant, I get a loss.
Up on both charts is good and deserves a pat on the back; down on either is bad and deserves a kick in the ass. At the time of this posting, it should be clear to the jury that I am currently on a long 'secular' losing streak. That is to say, I am gaining LBS!
One of the advantages of my charting is that I do not have to weigh myself every day. Thanks to Excel, trend lines can be plotted between data points. Therefore, I can weigh myself anytime I'm curious about how I'm doing, and the chart will accurately depict daily scores.
Now, here is what I resolve: not to weigh myself for (a) a week of going without bread and/or vanilla ice cream or (b) until the end of the month (whichever comes first).
ReplyDeleteCf., David Linden, The Compass Of Pleasure.
ReplyDeleteI can do fine without the bread or ice cream. It's the wine and whiskey I have a tough time doing without.
ReplyDeleteBread, fresh out of the oven, with butter and strawberry jam. Better than candy. Unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteI am a non-recovering vanillaicecreamaholic. After a nightcap of blackberries and white death, I stretched this morning in bed and got an unworldly cramp in my right leg. I actually thought I was going to have to break my leg to relieve the cramp. What's it going to take to get me off this stuff?
ReplyDeleteI was going to suggest an old-fashioned ice cream maker, the kind you churn by hand. The Vermont Country Store probably still sells them. You can't have any ice cream unless it's homemade. There's just one problem: homemade vanilla ice cream. Have you had any of That stuff lately? The clean, uncut stuff? It will make you forget all about leg cramps.
ReplyDeleteYippee! I'm off to bed and I haven't touched any of that smooth, cold, sweet, white stuff, all day! One day clean and sober!
ReplyDelete