Atonement

This morning it comes to me in the early hours with Ballou that I have made several mistakes this year, 2010. These are mistakes which were preventable, avoidable.

• One was an act of carelessness in email. Before replying-to-all, I neglected to check earlier content. The consequence is that I have lost a good, if untrustworthy, friend for some time to come.
• Dropping the mainsail in the harbor while going down wind. I knew better: conditions were light and I was lazy. I had forgotten that air aloft was different than air on the deck. It's all the more ominous because errors at sea bear the risk of crew safety. The consequence on land is that one custom batten was broken which has proven expensive in cash and time to replace.
• Serial acts of indifference: I allowed Ballou to blow out her right knee chasing sticks in the surf. Instead of passing the time walking, I lapsed in the enjoyment of watching her run and jump. The consequence is that I may have lost her walking companionship.
• Finally, some errors of omission of an on-going sort: The end of daylight savings time has encouraged me to excuse myself from my early morning absolutions. Is it the temperatures or rain? Whatever, I have lapsed, and I am suffering immensely for it. Immeasurably.

There is another mistake which I cannot - honestly - recall.

But it's time to pull myself together and recover. There is time. I am on the stair case. I can take one step at a time. Movement is paramount.

Renewal can only come in the present.